Mama's SLEEP Mode

*YAWN*

Do you ever have those moments when you don't want anything to do with anyone? Those moments when you just want to lock yourself in your room and bury your head under a pillow with the blankets over you? The moments when you want to shutdown and restart? Yeah, I'm sure you have. I know I have!

Those moments usually come when my toddlers are both screaming and getting into stuff at the same time. Or the dogs are tearing up something that I won't be able to fix. And mayyybe during those times when my husband is mad or upset with me because of something I said or did... and I don't want to confront him.

It's in those moments that I wish I could shut down and restart.

As a parent, I'm never able to really "shut down" or "restart", much less both at the same time.

Let me explain: Do you know how a laptop has the option for the "Sleep Mode"? There's "Sleep", "Restart", and "Shut Down".

When you put the laptop on "Sleep", you can close the laptop and the screen will shut off, but the laptop is still on, using the battery. If you open the laptop back up and push a button, the screen will instantly come back on and you can get right back to what you were doing before you put it on "Sleep Mode". To save time, it's best to leave your computer in sleep mode when you know you're going to use it again soon.

When you put the laptop on "Shut Down" or "Restart", there's a period when the laptop has completely shut off and the battery is not being used at all to keep it on. It takes it awhile to come back on and reload when you turn it back on. To save battery, it's best to shut down your laptop when you know you're not going to use it for awhile. Also, when you're making updates to the laptop with the software, it's best to restart or shut down the computer to let the updates finish what they need to do.

As a mom, I never sleep completely... but when I do, I don't "Shut down" or "Restart" like most people do when they sleep. When I hear a child cry in the middle of the night (or get up and go into the living room to watch tv, or get into the food cabinets), I wake up and go see what's wrong. I could be dead asleep and still hear the noise and wake up instantly ready to find out what's going on! It's in my instincts as a mother.

Even though it is called SLEEP mode on a laptop, I think it should be called "Eyes closed but I'm fully aware of what you're doing" for us parents. Because what is sleep without actually SLEEPING?!

We may get our time to wind down and rest or possibly have times when someone else looks after our kids and SOMETIMES we get to spend time with our significant other. Those times are refreshing and enjoyable. They're more special than they've ever been.

But our babies are still on our minds, on our hearts, and they're always going to be there. We constantly worry if they're getting the care that they need or if they're happy or if they need a kiss for their booboos that they might get while doing something they're not supposed to. If they're being taught how to act right or if they're getting the attention that they deserve(especially if they have siblings). No matter where they are or who they're with!

It's NEVERending.

I'm not complaining at all. Because if this is what it's like to not ever truly SLEEP again, then I'm content with that!

I will have my days when I gripe and complain about doing this and doing that for these little boogers. I will have my days when I will want to give up and go hide under those covers. BUT I will not give up and I will NOT hide under those covers! UNLESS I have my little monsters under there with me and we're building us a blanket fort with books and a flashlight.... that's acceptable.