Pregnant with a Toddler?

I don't think that I'm much of an expert, but I'm going through an experience that I didn't know for sure how to handle. So I figured I would share my experience and possibly help someone else out.

So you know what it's like to be a parent of a toddler, right? 

Roller coaster mood swings,

TEMPER TANTRUMS,

 changes of appetite,

 learning of new words/phrases/hand gestures, 

TEMPER TANTRUMS,

repeating of every little thing you say or do,

discovering "new" parts of the body, 

TEMPER TANTRUMS,

watching the same cartoons over and over, 

reading the same books over and over,

TEMPER TANTRUMS,

chasing a naked butt with clothes while trying to get ready to go out,

walking down the toy aisle before leaving every store,

TEMPER TANTRUMS,

cuddling and hugs on his or her terms,

getting thank you's for the least significant things that mean everything at that moment to him or her,

NOT getting thank you's for the big things that you do for him or her,

big "Good job!" 's for every little accomplishment,

discovering of new ways to get under your skin and driving you BAT CRAP CRAZY!

"MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY? MOMMY! MOMMY??! MOMMY!! MOMMY???? MO--".... AAAHH!

I could go on and on. There's so much to taking care and raising a toddler.  They are very much like Sour Patch Kids. One minute they're sour and the next, they're the sweetest thing in the world. And then the next minute, they're being spit out in your hair for you to discover later on when you're already in bed about to close your eyes for the night. 

Haha, that last part isn't true.  It sounds about right, though, doesn't it? 

But, seriously. You can't ever tell how your day is going to go, because it all revolves around what mood your toddler is in or what your toddler feels like doing that day. Especially if you're a stay at home parent. But it also applies to parents that work too. To me, it would be a hard day at work if I knew my child woke up with a temper tantrum and I had to leave him with someone else while I was at work. I'd be checking in constantly and yadda yadda. On the other hand, if you're with your toddler the whole day, trying to get things done around the house and spend time with him or her at the same time... the way they act definitely affects your day.

Okay, so that's the hardest part, right? 

WRONG.

When my son turned 15 months (still breastfeeding AND bedsharing), we found out that we were expecting again. 

Yes, another baby! Unplanned, but we weren't necessarily "not trying", if you know what I mean?

I quickly scanned over every little thing I went through with my first pregnancy and immediately thought that it was IMPOSSIBLE to be pregnant and raise a toddler at the same time. 

With a lot of prayer and encouraging words from God and my husband, I calmed down and began to put behind my worries of not being able to handle it and I looked towards the future.

My mothering instincts instantly kicked in after I put my worries behind me. I let God lead me forward and I made sure my selfish worries weren't going to get in the way of me being who I needed to be not only for God, but for my self and my family.

I pulled up my big mommy panties and we took the next step forward: told our family.

Of course, we received nothing but a positive reaction from everyone (to our faces). (Especially my dad who seemed to literally jump a foot in the air for joy when he read the note that our toddler made for them.) 

Some made comments, "Already? Wow, they're going to be really close in age." 

or "You're going to be the mother of two babies under three. How are you going to handle that?"

or, "You're still breastfeeding, aren't you? What are you going to do about that?

 and my personal favorite, "Y'all didn't waste any time, did y'all?"  

No, we didn't waste any time, but we didn't exactly plan to not waste any time either. 

LOL anyway, I just replied with, "We'll manage just fine. We're excited and we'll be ready for sure." 

On comes the first trimester symptoms:

Nausea (plus, trying to wean my first born from breastfeeding)

NO ENERGY (plus, a toddler that was learning how to sleep in his own bed, had energy that seemed to never end and always wanted a playmate)

Bloating (plus, a toddler that wanted me to hold him all the time)

Eating all the time (plus, a toddler that wanted some of every snack I chose to eat, no matter how much of it there was)

There were so many times I wanted to just cry and just let everything out. So what did I do? 

I cried.

And let everything out.

Then on came the SECOND trimester symptoms:

Weight gain (plus, a toddler that was growing like a weed as well)

No more nausea (YES!)

Still not as much energy, but more than in the first trimester. (Definitely a plus!)

Still some bloating, but not as much. 

We also found out what the little one was going to be during this trimester! Everyone was hoping for a little girl this next time. It didn't matter to me, because I knew that whichever gender the baby was, it was going to be spoiled and taken care of! Only a few people thought it was going to be another boy.

I went in to the ultrasound room with my mother-in-law and toddler next to me. I let the ultrasound technician know that I didn't want to know the gender yet. I told her that I wanted her to see it, print it, and put it in an envelope for me. Because I was going to let my husband be the first one to know by handing him the envelope to open first. 

Well, we were having fun watching the little one move around and the ultrasound tech was just a talking to our toddler, pointing out things on the ultrasound for him. Then she looked back at the screen and all of a sudden she said, "AWW! You're going to have a little BROTHER, (enter my toddler's name here)!"

She obviously forgot my plan. But I was sooooo happy and excited that I didn't even get mad or upset or anything! I made sure I called my husband as soon as I got out of the room to tell him. And we gave our little baby boy the name that we had already picked out. 

After that appointment, I immediately went home and started sorting out everything that we saved of our toddler's (which was pretty much EVERYTHING). I'm pretty sure our second boy is set with almost everything he needs, because of everything I saved from my first born. Which is awesome about having them close together, because everything I already have isn't out of date or out of style. Plus, it didn't have to sit for too long, so it wasn't nasty smelling or anything.

Our toddler would help me sort out things and he'd also go behind me and UNSORT out things. So it took me awhile. I also started nesting and organizing everything... while my toddler came behind me disorganizing everything. Never ending process. 

During this time, we also weaned and helped our toddler learn to sleep in his own bed. It was so hard. Having that connection with your child is so fulfilling, every time I had to tell him no and put him in his bed at night, I wanted to cry. But I knew it was time for him to take that step, even if I wasn't ready for it. 

I know of some people that continued to breastfeed while they were pregnant and on through the next few years after their next baby was born.  I have no idea how they did it! Breastfeeding takes so much energy out of you and I was already losing energy from baking a little human inside of me. Keeping up with a toddler adds up in there too. So I felt like it was best for all of us and didn't give up after I made my decision. 

 We all succeeded. Our toddler now sleeps in his own bed and doesn't cry or wake up for breastmilk. Every now and then he'll point to my chest and say, "(Toddler's name)'s chocolate milk?"  I'll reply, "Now, it's (second son's name)'s milk."  He just nods his head and repeats what I said. He's learning and I'm so very proud of him for how far he has come. 

Now, we're in the third trimester.

I say "WE'RE", because being pregnant isn't just the mommy's responsibility. It takes the whole family's cooperation to keep things going. Especially with a toddler in the home.

A little more energy, but can't move around as fast. I call it my "Slowww energy". 

Still growing some, but it's not as drastic as the last trimester. 

Uncomfortable sitting up for a little while. (we've had to move to the back pew in church so I can lean on my side on the side of the pew without feeling inappropriate, haha)

Rib cage ligament burning.

HEARTBURN!

Achy muscles EVERYWHERE.

Heat flashes.

Braxton Hicks Contractions 

shortness of breath.

Definitely lost the ability to focus on anything for more than 20 minutes.

Forgetfulness. 

Procrastination is ten times worse (Should I be putting this as a pregnancy symptom? Maybe I've just gotten worse in general. LOL)

We're also in the midst of potty training our toddler. (another post for another day, sheww)

We've taught our toddler that there's a baby in mommy's belly and that I can't do exactly what he wants me to do all the time. Like, crawl around on the floor with him on my back or hold him all the time. He still gets a little upset when I have to tell him, "No, mommy's got a baby in her belly. I can't do that right now." And it definitely makes me feel a little sad. But I keep in mind that after I heal after the birth, I'll be able to do all of those things again. The only reason why he gets upset is because he doesn't understand completely just yet. 

We've also taught him to love on mommy's belly and to be careful around it. He loves blowing raspberries and kissing my belly. He'll come up to me with a toy tractor in his hand asking, "Tractor on belly?" Then he'll run his tractor back and forth over my belly while the little one inside is pushing his little limbs up at him. My first born will cuddle with my belly to sleep and the little one inside will move around and try his hardest to get my first born off. 

We've also gotten our first born familiar with the little one's name. That way when the little one is here, he'll know who he is and how to communicate better with us.

I really feel like their relationship as brothers has already started, just by me and my husband teaching him how to do those things. Even though he's a toddler, I feel like it's important for him to have a relationship with his siblings from the very beginning. 

I've definitely gotten more emotional during this pregnancy, because not only am I dealing with my emotions... but I'm dealing with my toddler's emotions too. When he's sweet to me, I get wrapped around his little finger and my eyes fill with tears of joy. 

When he's rebellious and pitches a fit, I get so mad and I have to go in the other room to calm down (I have to be honest, I've yelled at him a few times. Immediately regretted it after I did it. But with these extra hormones, it's hard to control that.) 

When he acts silly and tries to get me to laugh, I laugh so hard that I cry. 

He's an emotional roller coaster and I'm an emotional roller coaster. Put us together and we're both big babies that need attention and extra love to make it through the day. 

I  feel bad for my husband and I don't see how he's put up with both of us for this long. But I can honestly say that he is the best husband and father in the world and I am so thankful for him.

Our family of three (plus our spoiled rotten dog) is about to become a family of four (plus our spoiled rotten dog). We are beyond excited and we are all ready for our little guy to be here. We don't have everything figured out and we know that everything that worked with our first born will most likely not work with our second. But we're optimistic and know that God has everything under control.

God is our strength and if we continue to make Him our strength, we can make it through ANYTHING!

One of the most famous Bible verses there is, "I can do ALL things through CHRIST, who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13

Do you know who in the world Inge Lehmann is??

So I learned something new today!

I learned about an inspiring woman who earned herself a Google Doodle!

Inge Lehmann.

This woman was known for her discovery of the earth's inner core! She felt that there had to be something more in the earth than just dirt and bones. So she did lots of research about why the P-Waves from earthquakes slowed down in certain parts inside the earth. And then it came to her, there was something more down there. 

Before Lehmann's discovery, scientists (geophysicists) believed that the earth was made up of a liquid inner core surrounded by a solid mantle that was surrounded by a crust, and they were each separated by something they called discontinuities (abrupt density changes in the earth). 

Then came a big earthquake near New Zealand in 1929. Inge Lehmann, who was known as the only Danish seismologist (that's what they call the scientists that study seismic waves in earthquakes and stuff), that studied the waves of the earthquake. She couldn't understand what she saw, because the waves seemed to be going down into the earth and bouncing off of some kind of wall or boundary. And coming back up to the earth. If the earth's center was like the other scientists had said it was, then the waves would've gone through the inner core.

 That's when she theorized in 1936 that the earth's center was made of two parts. A solid inner core surrounded by a liquid outer core and they were separated by  what is now called the Lehmann Discontinuity. 

Lehmann's hypothesis was confirmed in 1970 (34 years later!) when they made more sensitive seismographs (the things that picked up shock waves off of earthquakes and things). The more sensitive seismographs picked up that the waves were deflecting off of the solid core.

Lehmann not only started her idea, but she finished it and proved it to be right. She has an asteroid named after  her too!! Asteroid 5632 Ingelehmann was what they called it. 

Inge Lehmann lived to be 104 years old! She lived a long life. She died in February of 1993 (my birth year). 

Inge definitely left a mark in this earth (pun intended). She set an example for women (and men too, of course, but mostly women) everywhere! Not only did she discover some valuable information about how our earth is formed, but she didn't give up on her ideas and goals. Even when it took more than thirty years for them to accept her ideas. 

She did what she loved to do and then made a change in this world. If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't know how our earth looks. And it is important to know how the earth is formed and how the earth works, because the earth is where we live. 

Not only did she make a change, but she lived a long fulfilling life after accomplishing all that she did as an individual. That is definitely what I wish on everyone I know: to live a long fulfilling life.

Just think... If all of us were to never give up on our goals and ideas (even after the first week of having them), we would achieve so much individually and personally. Then we would achieve so much as a whole. Especially if the intentions of our ideas are to make this world a better place!

So I'm challenging you, as an individual, to come up with an idea of how you could use what you love to do to make a change in this world. And don't ever give up on it!

Feel free to share your ideas with me on here! I'd love to hear about them and maybe I could help!

Most likely to succeed??

My senior year of highschool was hectic. Everyone was running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to make sure they had a for sure plan for their future after highschool. Highschool was all we knew then. It was like a second home and for some, our only home. Especially since our school was so small; we were all pretty close. Everyone was worried that if they didn't have a plan, they weren't going to survive out in the "grown up" world.

We all had appointments to share our plan with our school counselor. We were supposed to talk about our grades, test scores, and career goals. What exactly we wanted to be when we "grew up". 

My plan (that I started in 9th grade) went a little like this:

1. Graduate Valedictorian or Salutatorian.

2. Use Scholarship to go to community college and live at home or close to home for two years for RN.

3. Transfer to University and finish out four year degree.

4. Graduate college.

5. Start working at a local hospital.

6. Possibly get married (after the age of 25).

7. Possibly have kids (after the age of 25).

8. Take over the world... haha just kidding. 

My school counselor was definitely impressed. She was so proud to have "someone like me" in her school. She told me that I am so goal oriented that there is NO WAY I would fail. It was impossible for me to not succeed. As long as I stuck to my plan and didn't stray from it. As long as I kept a good head on my shoulders and didn't let anything get in the way of my plan.

Well, that's when things changed. My boyfriend at the time, proposed.

 I was so set to sticking to my plan, because that's what everyone told me that I needed to do. Everyone said that if I didn't stick with my plan, that I would be throwing away everything that I worked so hard for.

 I even disappointed some people that I loved for just thinking about getting married at the time.

But I kept questioning myself. What exactly was everything that I worked for? How much did sticking to a plan that I made myself really mean to me?  Would getting married get in the way of my plan? Could I still go through with my plan even after I got married? Would everyone be so disappointed in me that they wouldn't want to be there for me? 

I remember having so many headaches and heartaches over trying to make this decision. I knew how I felt about each decision I could make and I also knew how everyone else felt about them too. No one was shy about telling me about how they felt about my life. 

God was silent though. I kept calling out to Him to help me and tell me what I needed to do. I remember falling to my knees in tears asking for Him to send me a "sign" or just tell me.

That's when I learned my lesson. God was silent, because He knew what was in my heart. He knew that I needed to look fully to Him in order for me to see that deep inside myself. I couldn't see what exactly was in my heart, because I was so blinded by the pressure everyone else was putting on me. I couldn't fully follow GOD'S plan, because I was so stuck on MY plan. 

Not once did I ask God what HIS plan was. I was worried about what my plan would be if I decided to go to college first or get married first. And that was where I went wrong and why I was going through so much heartache. So I did what I should've done in the first place... I asked God what His plan was for me.

That's when I made my decision:

To get married first.

 My boyfriend wasn't pressuring me, he was willing to wait a little while,  he was ready to get married whenever I was. I decided that I was ready. At that moment. I wanted to be married to him before he had to move away (he was in the military about to be stationed somewhere far away) and before I started any other part of my plan like go to college. I wanted to go with him. Be with him. My heart was with him and if I would've decided to go to college, my heart wouldn't have been in it. I wouldn't have enjoyed it like I thought I would when I started my plan in the ninth grade. It would've been easier though, to go to college and focus on just myself and school work. That's not what I was made for though and I felt that with every inch of my being.

After I had told everyone my decision, I still recieved bad criticism. People began to look down on me, even my school counselor. So many people had such high expectations for me, they were blinded by them. Those high expectations poisoned my relationships with them and right when I needed them most. 

Even after all of that, I still had peace with my decision. Why? Was I being selfish and not thinking of how the ones I cared about the most felt? 

No. I cared so much, it took all I had to keep going in the direction I was going.

I still had peace with my decision, because it was through God that I was making that decision. After I made my decision, everything became clear on what I needed to do and how I needed to do it. And that's when I knew it was right, because everything became clear. Of course, I didn't have everything figured out that was going to happen next. But I knew that how I felt became clear and what I needed to do became clear, no matter how wrong it seemed to someone else. Everyone else, really.

Anyway, shortly after we got married and moved away from our family, we found out some news that changed things even more.

I was pregnant. 

Not only did I skip a few, okay ALL, of the numbers on my "plan list", but I was about to have another human being. 

I wasn't worried too much though. I figured that since I babysat a few babies and that they had books on the whole experience, that I was set. (Remember my last entry?? Yeahh.)

Like I said previously, until I saw his big blue eyes staring up at me... I was so confident in myself. 

I had a good pregnancy, delivery, and hospital experience. When I got him home, boy did I learn a lot. 

None of these things were apart of my original plan. Yet they WERE apart of God's plan. Notice after I let go of MY plan and focused on God's, everything became peaceful in my heart and became clear as to what I needed to do. 

  I didn't see what was going to happen next or how things were going to fold out. But since I kept to His plan, I knew it would all work out successfully in God's eyes. Those are the only eyes that  I need to please and when I realized that, I didn't worry about pleasing everyone else. 

I became truly happy.

Now, I'm happily married to the person who knows me the best, mother of one and one on the way, a stay-at-home mom (I wouldn't want to be anywhere else), and closer to my family (though not physically) than ever. We have our own three bedroom house, property, dog, car, and we're both figuring out our dreams as we go. Together. We aren't perfect and we don't have everything figured out completely... but we do let God have control and that's how we succeed.

So when I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in highschool, is this what I visioned for myself? Not even close. But I still see it now as me succeeding. Not through this world, but through God. That's all that I care about the most. Succeeding through God.

I'm challenging you to just let go and let God. 

Being a Mama

Being a mama is nothing like you thought it would be like when you were younger. At least that's what I've come to experience. 

When I was younger, becoming a mother was just having (without knowing exactly HOW) a sweet little cute baby to love on and feed and show the world to. 

Swearing up and down that you would make sure that baby would have everything he or she (I always wanted a he) wanted and you wouldn't treat he or she anything like your parents treated you.

Also, you couldn't really picture how the daddy fit into the bill unless it came to him just paying the bills while you stayed at home and cooed over the little bundle of joy. 

You'd want to babysit everyone's babies and hold every baby you saw no matter where you were. Even the screaming crying ones. You didn't know exactly why they were crying or screaming, but you thought that if you could just hold it that it would make the baby stop crying or that you knew  the solution... totally ignoring the actual mother of the crying baby. 

Sometimes you even thought you knew better than the mother of the babies you saw, simply because you knew absolutely NOTHING at all.

You felt that you already knew exactly what love was.

Being a mama is definitely different than what I thought it was going to be. But honestly, it is way more than anything I thought it would be and not in a bad way.

I am the mother of one and one on the way. My son (the boy I always wanted to have) is almost two. He's a grown toddler and has a mind of a grown man.  We have another boy on the way.

When I had my first, I was so excited! I thought I knew absolutely everything there was about having a baby. Mostly, because of my views of having a baby when I was younger. And plus, I read all the books!

I decided before I had him I was going to be the best. mom. ever.

Well, my feelings totally changed when I saw his big blue eyes looking up at me. I became scared and felt inadequate to be his mom, mother, mama, caretaker. How in the world could I possibly do this??

Then a comfort came over me... my instincts took over. I became a mom. A mother. A mama. A caretaker.

I now strive to be at least half the mom that my mom was and is.

I respect my husband for the daddy he is to our son and all of the responsibilities that he takes on for us to keep going. He does more than just "pay the bills", ya know.

I now do not offer to babysit anyone else's child, unless paid to do so. And holding someone else's baby has become a big no no, unless I have washed my hands and I'm not sick. Mostly, because I'd want people to do the same for my child.

I do not offer any mothering advice unless someone asks me for it... mostly, because every child and every mother is different. Also, every situation is different. Just holding the baby doesn't stop he or she from crying. There's feeding, burping, diaper changing, wrong play toy, boredom, etc. And only sometimes the wanting to be held.

I now know that being responsible for a child for an hour or two doesn't ever compare to being responsible for a child 24/7.

The word L-O-V-E comes in so many shapes and forms. There's the love for family and friends. Your significant other. And then there's the love you have for you children. I thought that they were all the same. No! I can't say that I didn't know what love was in a way, because God is love. But I can say that I didn't know that love could be so different at so many levels. And until you have a child, you will not know love on that certain level. Watching apart of your heart walk around, running into walls and bumping his head on tables and anything at his level, falling off of couches/beds/chairs, putting things in his mouth and putting his fingers in power sockets, standing in ant beds until he's covered in hundreds of ants biting at him, throwing up anything he puts in his mouth because of the virus he caught (and that you will catch too)... I could go on forever.

If you think that you know everything there is to know about being a mama, then think again. Even if you've had eighteen kids. It's all a live and learn experience.

So I challenge you this Mother's Day:
be thankful for your mother, husband, and children.
You are living and you are learning, so be thankful for yourself. You are loved, adored, and your kids know what love is through you. And you are doing a good job, Mama! Don't give up.